Saturday, October 22, 2005


Stupid Weather

Stupid Weather!

I know the world is going through a lot right now, environmentally.  From Tsunamis to earthquakes to hurricanes to more hurricanes, it would seem that good old Mother Nature is getting tired of us, and I can see why.  After all, even during the worst of times we humans never fail to be really stupid.
Let’s take the latest hurricane “Wilma” that is right now attacking Cancun, Mexico on it’s way to Florida.  Manu have died, many more will loose their homes, but for one Canadian couple it’s much, much worse.
You see, whenever something like this happens, the local newscasts devote time to people from the area that are in the affected region.  It usually consists of people looking sad and saying things like “I hope they got out in time” or “I just want to hear them call and say they are alright.”
But one mother showed a lot more about her son and daughter in law then she wanted.  Noting they the newlyweds are in Florida for their honeymoon, she recalls a phone conversation she recently had where her son said, “We can’t get a flight out, why didn’t they tell us to evacuate earlier?”
Wha????????  Come on, I knew Wilma was headed to Florida last Tuesday, are you telling me this guy didn’t?
Haven’t they seen the news?  Read a newspaper?  Listened to the radio?  Talked to some locals?  Noticed the heavy rain that isn’t letting up?  Are you telling me that they were so isolated that they had no idea that they had to leave?  What have they been doing?  Ok, stupid question.  It is their honeymoon, but even then, are they really spending ALL their time doing it?  I know for a fact that a man needs at least fifteen minutes to recover, are you telling me he cuddled?
And what about their parents?  Didn’t it cross their minds to phone the happy couple and warn them?  
It blows my FREAKIN’ MIND!  These people, all of them, are idiots of the first degree.  Now they have to be holed up in a shelter where, I am assuming, they will actually stop screwing enough to realize where they are and what they are doing there.  Maybe this will teach them to poke their heads up once and awhile.
And to make matters worse, they will probably want a refund for their trip.  Again, it FREAKIN’ BLOWS MY MIND!

Powerball fever gripped parts of America last week.  There were long line up’s at convenience stores and everyone who was interviewed said the same thing.  “I am going to win!”
Well, someone did win, and I’ll make a large bet that it wasn’t you.  Do you finally feel stupid about it?  Do you now realize you wasted your money?  Are you embarrassed yet?
No, I bet you aren’t.  I’m betting that next week you will plop down your hard earned money like the lemming that you are.
No wonder Mother Nature hates us.

Next Post:  Law and Order.  (Ba, bum!)

Monday, October 17, 2005


Lotteries, you and the reason both suck!

Hey you! Yeah you! You, the guy in the front of the line with a dozen sheets of lottery printouts. I don’t know if you’ve noticed this, but I’m buying a bottle of Pepsi and a chocolate bar. This is important because you are wasting my time.
Not only that, but you are ripping off the good Macks Milk Franchise Owner because while you are screwing around with your $40 of lottery tickets, and having the good clerk run each of them through the machine because you are too damn lazy to open a newspaper and look, I am actually buying something with a profit margin.
Don’t believe me? Here’s a fact: According to the Ontario Lottery Commission 7.1% of a lottery dollar spent is paid to the retailer in “commissions and bonuses.” That’s 7.1 cents per dollar.
I, on the other hand, am buying a bottle of Pepsi. That’s about $1.75. There is an approx. markup of 50% for each item sold in a convenience store. (50% mark up is standard in retail.) That’s 87.5 cents in profit that goes to Macks Milk and it’s stores. That means that my pop is worth more to the store than your lottery ticket. Same with my chocolate bar.
And on top of that, you’re WASTING MY FREAKIN’ TIME!
The only saving grace here is that between you and me there are four other people, all of whom have $40 in lottery tickets. The more people who buy these tickets then the more worth the stores while it is to carry them. Add to that the fact that people are MORONS about lottery tickets and you have a very profitable business indeed.
Leaving me, five stupid people back, waiting for everyone to have the machine check their tickets (because they are too lazy to open a freakin’ paper) in the hope that they win a lousy $5. Congratulations, you spent several hundred dollars a year on lottery tickets and just won five bucks, you are indeed a brilliance who out shines Einstein.
Yes, I’ll admit, my time is not that valuable. Odds are I’m going home to watch TV for several hours. But, and this is a big but, I have just as good a chance of FINDING $5 in change under my couch cushions as you do winning $5 in a lottery. And if the lottery is that important to you, than that change is just as important to me, with one big bonus; I WOULD NOT BE WASTING ANYONE’S FREAKIN’ TIME!
Do you get it yet? Do you finally see? Lotteries are a scam! You are not going to win the big one, yet you keep throwing your money at it like some sort of trained monkey. (And I’ve smelled you so that allegory is apt. APT I SAY!)
Here’s an idea, why don’t you work a little overtime, or get a second job, or just stop buying stuff you can’t afford. That is the only way you are going to get any more money because the lottery isn’t going to do anything for you. It’s not your friend; it doesn’t owe you and Karma only works for those who help themselves.
And I cannot stress this part enough; YOU WOULD NOT BE WASTING MY FREAKIN’ TIME!
But hey, what do I know. I’m only 99 monkeys away from Othello anyway.

Next post: Bank machines and you WASTING MY FREAKIN’ TIME!

Sunday, October 16, 2005


So what is this all about?

This is where I tell you what this blog is about. I hate this part. Why is God’s name do I have to waste space going on about what I plan to do when I could just do it?
Sigh. Ok, I’ll follow the rules this time. Just for you. (Don’t you feel special?)

This blog is about me. Me me me me me!
Things tick me off. A lot of things tick me off. I need a place to vent. This is the place.
I am going to rant about people and things that piss me off. That is the “Rant” part of the title. I am also, on occasion, going to rave about something or someone that is good. That is the “Rave” part.
Let me warn you. There will be more rants than raves.

I think I’ve pretty much summed it up. What say we get on with the ranting, shall we?

Next post: Lottery tickets and me!

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