Monday, October 17, 2005
Lotteries, you and the reason both suck!
Hey you! Yeah you! You, the guy in the front of the line with a dozen sheets of lottery printouts. I don’t know if you’ve noticed this, but I’m buying a bottle of Pepsi and a chocolate bar. This is important because you are wasting my time.
Not only that, but you are ripping off the good Macks Milk Franchise Owner because while you are screwing around with your $40 of lottery tickets, and having the good clerk run each of them through the machine because you are too damn lazy to open a newspaper and look, I am actually buying something with a profit margin.
Don’t believe me? Here’s a fact: According to the Ontario Lottery Commission 7.1% of a lottery
dollar spent is paid to the retailer in “commissions and bonuses.” That’s 7.1 cents per dollar.
I, on the other hand, am buying a bottle of Pepsi. That’s about $1.75. There is an approx. markup of 50% for each item sold in a convenience store. (50% mark up is standard in retail.) That’s 87.5 cents in profit that goes to Macks Milk and it’s stores. That means that my pop is worth more to the store than your lottery ticket. Same with my chocolate bar.
And on top of that, you’re WASTING MY FREAKIN’ TIME!
The only saving grace here is that between you and me there are four other people, all of whom have $40 in lottery tickets. The more people who buy these tickets then the more worth the stores while it is to carry them. Add to that the fact that people are MORONS about lottery tickets and you have a very profitable business indeed.
Leaving me, five stupid people back, waiting for everyone to have the machine check their tickets (because they are too lazy to open a freakin’ paper) in the hope that they win a lousy $5. Congratulations, you spent several hundred dollars a year on lottery tickets and just won five bucks, you are indeed a brilliance who out shines Einstein.
Oh yes, AND YOU’RE WASTING MY FREAKIN TIME!
Yes, I’ll admit, my time is not that valuable. Odds are I’m going home to watch TV for several hours. But, and this is a big but, I have just as good a chance of FINDING $5 in change under my couch cushions as you do winning $5 in a lottery. And if the lottery is that important to you, than that change is just as important to me, with one big bonus; I WOULD NOT BE WASTING ANYONE’S FREAKIN’ TIME!
Do you get it yet? Do you finally see? Lotteries are a scam! You are not going to win the big one, yet you keep throwing your money at it like some sort of trained monkey. (And I’ve smelled you so that allegory is apt. APT I SAY!)
Here’s an idea, why don’t you work a little overtime, or get a second job, or just stop buying stuff you can’t afford. That is the only way you are going to get any more money because the lottery isn’t going to do anything for you. It’s not your friend; it doesn’t owe you and Karma only works for those who help themselves.
And I cannot stress this part enough; YOU WOULD NOT BE WASTING MY FREAKIN’ TIME!
But hey, what do I know. I’m only 99 monkeys away from Othello anyway.
Next post: Bank machines and you WASTING MY FREAKIN’ TIME!
Not only that, but you are ripping off the good Macks Milk Franchise Owner because while you are screwing around with your $40 of lottery tickets, and having the good clerk run each of them through the machine because you are too damn lazy to open a newspaper and look, I am actually buying something with a profit margin.
Don’t believe me? Here’s a fact: According to the Ontario Lottery Commission 7.1% of a lottery
dollar spent is paid to the retailer in “commissions and bonuses.” That’s 7.1 cents per dollar.I, on the other hand, am buying a bottle of Pepsi. That’s about $1.75. There is an approx. markup of 50% for each item sold in a convenience store. (50% mark up is standard in retail.) That’s 87.5 cents in profit that goes to Macks Milk and it’s stores. That means that my pop is worth more to the store than your lottery ticket. Same with my chocolate bar.
And on top of that, you’re WASTING MY FREAKIN’ TIME!
The only saving grace here is that between you and me there are four other people, all of whom have $40 in lottery tickets. The more people who buy these tickets then the more worth the stores while it is to carry them. Add to that the fact that people are MORONS about lottery tickets and you have a very profitable business indeed.
Leaving me, five stupid people back, waiting for everyone to have the machine check their tickets (because they are too lazy to open a freakin’ paper) in the hope that they win a lousy $5. Congratulations, you spent several hundred dollars a year on lottery tickets and just won five bucks, you are indeed a brilliance who out shines Einstein.
Oh yes, AND YOU’RE WASTING MY FREAKIN TIME!
Yes, I’ll admit, my time is not that valuable. Odds are I’m going home to watch TV for several hours. But, and this is a big but, I have just as good a chance of FINDING $5 in change under my couch cushions as you do winning $5 in a lottery. And if the lottery is that important to you, than that change is just as important to me, with one big bonus; I WOULD NOT BE WASTING ANYONE’S FREAKIN’ TIME!
Do you get it yet? Do you finally see? Lotteries are a scam! You are not going to win the big one, yet you keep throwing your money at it like some sort of trained monkey. (And I’ve smelled you so that allegory is apt. APT I SAY!)
Here’s an idea, why don’t you work a little overtime, or get a second job, or just stop buying stuff you can’t afford. That is the only way you are going to get any more money because the lottery isn’t going to do anything for you. It’s not your friend; it doesn’t owe you and Karma only works for those who help themselves.
And I cannot stress this part enough; YOU WOULD NOT BE WASTING MY FREAKIN’ TIME!
But hey, what do I know. I’m only 99 monkeys away from Othello anyway.
Next post: Bank machines and you WASTING MY FREAKIN’ TIME!
