Saturday, May 27, 2006




Since the dawn of man we have been asking questions about our world and our place in it.  Questions such as who am I?  Why are we here?  Is there a purpose to this thing called life?
I have a few questions myself, and since the interweb has given me this wonderful opportunity to regurgitate words in a public way, I though I would ask a few of them.

Why?  Why, when Madonna actually had a nice, tight body did she wear loose fitting clothing but now, when she’s overflowing with cellulite, she decides to wear clothes so tight you can tell what religion she is?
And while I’m at it, why does Madonna join religions when she’s just going to end up insulting them?

Why?   Why do young actresses decide that they have to be bone skinny?  Since when did having a little fat on you become a bad thing?
And while we’re at it, if these skinny young actresses are a bad influence to our young, then who influenced them to be so skinny?

How?  How do politicians keep fooling us?  They say they’re different than the other guy’s, they say they care, and yet they get into office and turn out to be just like the last guy’s.  They don’t care, they aren’t different and we keep getting fooled.  I swear, elections are just “my mind control ray is better than your mind control ray” contests.

Why?  Why do celebrities think we care what they think about world events?  Just because you can read a script does not mean you are smarter than, say, a guy who works in a factory, or a gas station, or a book store.  Personally, I don’t care what Susan Sarandon or that guy she hangs around with thinks about anything.  I am a grown man, I can make up my own mind so shut up and go away.

Why?  Why do people listen to celebrities?  They wouldn’t keep yapping if someone wasn’t listening.  But let me ask you this, what makes them smarter than you?  Thanks to the internet you can now access the same information they can, which means you can actually go looking and become informed and make up your own damn mind.  So why don’t you?
Oh yeah, and this goes triple for anyone who belongs to the cult of Oprah.  If the whole Million Little Pieces thing blowing up in her face hasn’t told you that she can be just as stupid as anyone else what will?  So she reads, big deal.  A lot of people read, I read, so what makes her choices better than mine?  Oh yeah, I don’t have a TV show.  Pretty picture box makes people better than you.  (Said in caveman grunts.)
By the way, I don’t care how “New age” Oprah drapes her show.  She’s just as exploitive as Jerry Springer.  Think about that!

And finally, Wha???????????
One of my favorite episodes of South Park is the NAMBLA episode.  It is just hilarious.  I re-watched it today and decided to engage my curiosity and go to the NAMBLA website.
Here it comes folks.  It turns out that NAMBLA has come out against the Iraq War.
Yes, it’s here. . NAMBLA opposes the war.  I don’t know how to react to this.  It is just ludicrous in concept but … but … I don’t know where to go from here.  It’s just blowing my … it’s making my head sp … I can’t even use a turn of phrase to describe my feeling without it turning dirty.
I guess the best way to express how I feel is to repeat WHAAAAAA????????????????????????

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